So what is fertility coaching and what do you need to do?
'If something’s worth having, it’s worth working hard for’ goes the saying and it is especially true with fertility and getting pregnant.
You need to start with focussing on yourself, keep your overall goal in mind, but start to really look within. Self analyse your life. It’s a tough thing to do believe it or not, but we are very rarely honest with ourselves let alone others. Quite often we ‘gloss over things and blank our mind to what’s really going on.
On the opposite side of things, we also continually tell ourselves negative things such as ‘I’m too fat’, ‘too stupid or, ‘too ugly’ and so on.
When we persistently tell ourselves these lies combined with negative thoughts and speeches in our heads every minute of the day, it can really take its toll, yet we choose not to accept this or listen to the truth.
It’s taken us all years and years to become a professional at doing this and so we carry on convincing ourselves that we’ve not been affected by all the crazy things that have happened in our lives. We go through anything from the loss of a loved one, being told all our lives that we’re stupid, clumsy, we talk too much, don’t listen, are ugly, wont amount to anything…………..need I go on?
Yet we never really slow down and stop to acknowledge any of this. I’m sure some of these things resonate with you and yet you probably never even thought about it before, you just carried on regardless and assumed you had come out of the other end unscathed.
What effect have these statements and events REALLY had on your life………….you may be surprised!
But you have reached a brick wall in one very important aspect of your life and so NOW really is the time to start asking those soul searching questions. Hopefully, finally facing up to these questions will unlock the reason for not being able to get pregnant.
Is it physical or could it be a psychological issue manifesting itself as a physical problem?
Ask yourself the following 10 questions (answer honestly)
(Ideally ask yourself these questions whilst looking in the mirror, so you can see your physical reaction to these questions)
1) Am I living a healthy lifestyle, could I exercise more or eat more healthily?
2) Other than this infertility issue, am I happy?
3) Am I fulfilled in my work / job / career?
4) Have I stopped doing anything creative that I once loved to do – singing, playing a musical instrument, reading, drawing, painting, sculpting, enjoying nature etc?
5) Am I in touch with my femininity? Do I feel feminine /like a woman/ sexy?
6) Am I stressed with life, family, work, and is there anything I could do to reduce this stress?
7) Do I have any true friends I can openly discuss my issues or problems with in an open and honest way and without judgement?
8) Am I a negative person, do I continually undermine myself and tell myself I don’t deserve that or I will never achieve that?
9) Do you feel as though you are fulfilling your life purpose or do you continually feel as if you do not fit in and are not doing what you want to or enjoy doing?
10) Do you like what you see in the mirror, do you love yourself – if not what would you change and why?
A good book to really get you started on uncovering the real you and understanding the way that our mental health can affect our physical health is ‘You Can Heal Your Life’ by Louise L Hay. This book has had a profound effect on thousands of people’s lives and helped them to live a more rewarding and healthy life.
This book really is the book to read when you arrive at a juncture in your life when you really are ‘sick and tired of being sick and tired’
Ok so you were probably shocked by those results, maybe you found that the first answer you gave was in fact not true at all. Maybe your facial expression gave this away, maybe your heart rate was elevated, maybe you had sweaty palms or maybe you just knew deep down inside that you were not being honest.
This is all part of self analysis and the basis for fertility coaching, do not judge yourself though – just see it as a journey. When you have had enough, or if you unlock something that you don’t really like the feeling of, simply stop and revisit it another day. You may get some insight from the in between times when you are not physically thinking about it.
Try to do a bit every day. Try to begin to evaluate what you do and why you do it. Some people find that when they don’t want to be honest with themselves and someone asks them a pointed question they get very defensive. Others find that they have a nervous laugh, whatever your tick try taking note of it and evaluate it.
If someone asks you ‘how come you’re unable to have a baby, have you tried dieting / eating healthy?’
Most people would react to this in one of the following ways:
- Of course I have, but it doesn’t make any difference
- Are you saying I’m fat?
- What has dieting got to do with whether I can have a baby or not?
- Get very offended and be upset
However, try asking yourself the same question – do you get the same answer? Keep asking yourself the same question and see what you eventually end up at.
In all probability it will probably be one of the following:
- Actually, I really ought to diet / eat healthier
- Well, I’m not overweight but I do not have a good diet
- I could do with taking a look at my diet and eat less sugary foods, less alcohol etc
- I tried dieting before but gave up
If you want to stop hearing yourself saying the same old excuses again and again and really take control of your own fertility then fertility coaching is definitely for you!
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